I literally can’t fall asleep because I am fretting about the choreography for Joy to the World. And I use the term “choreography” loosely. The second graders will be prancing around waving colorful scarves, hopefully to some semblance of the beat. Who knew being a music teacher could be so stressful?

I have no idea where this obnoxious “stretching myself” routine came from, but here are my Thanksgiving break plans. The four glorious days off will be spent camping on a beach six hours away. That’s right. There are three problematic components here: camping, beach, and six hours away. But I feel the need to prove that I can man up and do this, and I am going to like it. Why? Because I refuse to waste my perfectly good free days! We’re going to some insanely gorgeous beach that when people pronounce it, it sounds like “salmonella.” Yum.

Tablecloths annoy me. If I became President for a day, I would ban their usage except on Thanksgiving.